We all have a list like this one. Maybe some of you haven’t actually formalized it and written it down anywhere, but this list exists in your head. This is a list of things that I would like to do before I die (in no particular order).

Write your own list on your blog, and link to my list so you’ll show up in the trackbacks. Feel free to use the graphic above in your post too.

1. Be in Time Square for New Years.
2. Take 3 months off and travel around the United States in an R.V. just exploring every corner of this country.
3. Throw a huge party and invite every single person I know. I’m talking each and every friend, every family member, co-workers…everyone.
4. Escape to a tropical resort all alone. Bring very little–all I need is a few books, sunscreen, and a fresh pair of underwear.
5. Get a book published.
6. Become financially secure enough to give 25% of my income to charity. As Dolly Levi’s late husband Ephraim used to say, “Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. It’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around, encouraging young things to grow.”
7. Watch the Rose Parade live in Pasadena.
8. Run a marathon.
9. Send my parents on the honeymoon they were never able to take.
10. Get legally married.
11. Detoxification. Go on a fast and get rid of all of the toxins inside of me. Is this safe for a diabetic??
12. Learn to play the harmonica.
13. Plant a vegetable garden and utilize it. Maybe even share it with my neighbors.
14. Get thanked in an Oscar/Grammy/Golden Globe speech.

Three words: “Vice President Oprah.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOWlpvOPKXc[/youtube]

I took my old oatmeal cookie recipe and made it diabetic friendly. I think that is how I need to start looking at baking. In the recent past I’ve been searching for sugar-free or diabetic recipes, and I’ve been pretty disappointed. Instead I just need to tweak the recipes that I know work.

Here’s how to make these incredibly easy and amazingly scrumptious sugar-free cookies:

1 cup of margarine (2 sticks of butter) softened
1 cup of brown-sugar substitute
1/2 cup of Splenda
2 eggs
1 teaspoon of vanilla
1 1/2 cup of all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon of baking soda
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon of salt
3 cups of oatmeal

* Heat your oven to 350°.
* Beat together margarine and sugars until creamy
* Add eggs and vanilla; beat well
* Add combined flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt; mix well
* Stir in oats; mix well
* Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet
* Bake 10 minutes (until golden brown)
* Eat a few at a time…these aren’t carbohydrate free!

I have a little moleskine notebook that I carry around with me, and I will occasionally jot down things that I hear that I’d like to remember, or ideas that I have for blog posts or stories that I would like to write.

The moleskin that I’m writing in right now is pretty old. I usually can fit four or five notes on a single page, so I’ve been using it for about five years; they are pretty sturdy little things. I was flipping through the notebook today and wanted to share some of the notes that I have jotted down but haven’t had the opportunity to use.

I hate day-after-Christmas clothes people.

I used to work with a guy named Scott who would come into work the day after Christmas vacation in a brand-new outfit. I get it, you got new clothes for Christmas. Annoying.

Mom thought she was on the twilight zone.

Mom went to jury duty on September 11th, 2001. When she arrived they had her park in some strange parking lot because all of the local federal/state buildings were under watch. She told me that after checking in to jury duty and getting told she could leave 10 minutes later, she walked into a very empty downtown Phoenix and seriously thought she was in an episode of the twilight zone.

Porn bibles.

The bible has some raunchy stories in it. Wouldn’t it be cool to create an illustrated, x-rated version of the bible?

“Furious the kid skipped out into the pewter-grey L.A. sky. He’d come west. Sunset-neon-orange haphazardly blinked. Rain drenched his dance of doom.”

???

ideologue

I was listening to NPR and heard someone use the word “ideologue” repeatedly. And I had to come home and look it up. How sad.

Literary laxative.

I was talking to a friend about writing, and about how I would get super-inspired by a particular author’s short stories. I said that she’s like a literary laxative, and I wanted to remember that term.

I wonder how long it will take for people to look back on our odd ceremonies (like marriage) the way that we do to old African rituals.

???

You’ve got it all wrong…death comes before life. One cannot live until he sees death.

Heterosexuals are lucky because they get to re-vist the womb.

Story starts with the 2nd Great Depression.

When Jesus wrote the constitution…

Janeane Garofalo said this one on her Air America radio show. She was mimicking some of the extreme right-wing rhetoric and she slipped in that funny line.

Every life is precious? What are you doing for the 7 million homeless people in this country?

I was listening to an anti-abortionist talk, and he said “every life is precious.” And I started thinking about every life, and how I’d doubt he truly believed what he had just said.

I hear they save a lot of money on refreshments since Leyes termed out.

I wrote that note to a guy that was sitting next to me at a city council meeting. Mark Leyes is a big bag of hot-air that got a job working for Governor Schwarzenegger after he termed out of the city council.

I’m happy that I have now blogged some of those notes that were just sitting in the moleskine for years. Now I can forget them.

Gay guys don’t have to worry about getting pregnant. Nobody knows a man’s body like another man. It’s easy for gay guys to play “just buddies” if need be. And we can share clothes and shoes.

There are a lot of perks to gay dating. I know that better than anyone. But there is also a quandary that gay men and women face on a regular basis when they are dating: wardrobe duplication.

I was reminded of this dilemma when I showed up for a date with the wonderful Mr. D this past Tuesday. He was wearing his new, and incredibly sexy glasses that look a little (not too much) like my own.

(Isn’t he cute?)

And I guess this is a problem that straight couples can face, but I think that wardrobe duplication is seen much more in homosexual couples since the styles and trends that influence fashion choices are identical.

I’ve showed up for a date before and was wearing an almost identical shirt as my date. I’ve also had a date come to my house and when we realized that our clothing was too similar I changed quickly.

I’m sure that other homosexuals have some horror stories about repression, homophobia, and online dating. If wardrobe duplication is at the top of my dating woes, I guess I’m a lucky guy (with matching glasses).

It’s Wednesday, y’all!

The Design Police – Bringing bad design to justice! These are printable sheets that you can keep with you and distribute when you see bad design. My favorite sticker is “Comic Sans is illegal.”

What the font? – How many times have you seen a design and wondered What the font? Upload an image to their website and they’ll help you figure out what font was used.

DNA 11 – Decorate your walls with your very own genetic make up. Slightly creepy, slightly chic, DNA 11 creates wall decorations out of your DNA or your fingerprints.

WordToYour.com – I have a feeling that I’m behind the curve on this site’s popularity. It’s a blog that gives a “word to your…” on each funny photo. Too hard to explain; just check it out.

Icon Watch – The Korean Funshop website is selling a really nerdy (and cool?) icon watch. I love how it looks pixelated, and there are no numbers just like the real icon. The site is in Korean and I can’t see any prices or a way to purchase.

The 9 Step Television Diet – Think Simple Now blog posted 9 simple steps to overcome a television addiction. I particularly like number one: Focus on your food when you are eating. How easy is it to get into that TV trance and forget all the crap that you’re stuffing into your mouth?

The sidebar on the left of this page has given me a headache for a while.  It was never quite right.

I spent a couple of hours yesterday tweaking the design and giving it a little more of an organized feel.  And once I started messing with the sidebar, I had to change the header to match, and then the background didn’t look right, and then I had to mess with some colors for the top menu buttons.  If you give a mouse a cookie…right?

If you’re reading this from an RSS reader, click through to see how things look.

As you know, I’m preparing for a marathon that is just about a year away. It’s a lofty goal, but I’ve got plenty of time to work my way up to the 26 mile run.

I kicked my training up a notch this morning by 2 miles. I have been running 3 miles each morning, but today I “ran” five (those last two had a lot of walking, actually). I have 52 weeks, and here’s how I plan on training (some of the days may vary).

1. This week. I’m going to focus on getting those 5 miles to be 100% running. I will also walk 2.5 with my Mom & Sister on the evenings I can motivate them to do so.
2. I have a hunch that I’ll still be struggling to do a non-stop run for those 5. Again, walking with Mom & Sister.
3. I’m going to do 3 miles Monday, 4 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 7 miles Saturday.
4. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 8 miles Saturday.
5. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 8 miles Saturday.
6. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 8 miles Saturday.
7. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 8 miles Saturday.
8. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 8 miles Saturday.
9. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 8 miles Saturday.
10. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 8 miles Saturday.
11. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 10 miles Saturday.
12. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 10 miles Saturday.
13. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 10 miles Saturday.
14. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 10 miles Saturday.
15. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 10 miles Saturday.
16. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 10 miles Saturday.
17. 4 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 11 miles Saturday.
18. 4 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 11 miles Saturday.
19. 4 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 11 miles Saturday.
20. 4 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 11 miles Saturday.
21. 4 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 11 miles Saturday.
22. 4 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 11 miles Saturday.
23. 4 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 11 miles Saturday.
24. 4 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 11 miles Saturday.
25. 4 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 11 miles Saturday.
26. 4 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 11 miles Saturday.
27. 4 miles Monday, 6 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 12 miles Saturday.
28. 4 miles Monday, 6 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 12 miles Saturday.
29. 4 miles Monday, 6 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 12 miles Saturday.
30. 4 miles Monday, 6 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 12 miles Saturday.
31. 4 miles Monday, 6 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 14 miles Saturday.
32. 4 miles Monday, 6 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 14 miles Saturday.
33. 4 miles Monday, 6 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 14 miles Saturday.
34. 4 miles Monday, 6 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 14 miles Saturday.
35. 4 miles Monday, 6 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 14 miles Saturday.
36. 4 miles Monday, 7 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 16 miles Saturday.
37. 4 miles Monday, 7 miles Wednesday, 4 miles Thursday, 16 miles Saturday.
38. 5 miles Monday, 8 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 17 miles Saturday.
39. 5 miles Monday, 8 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 17 miles Saturday.
40. 5 miles Monday, 8 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 18 miles Saturday.
41. 5 miles Monday, 8 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 18 miles Saturday.
42. 5 miles Monday, 8 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 20 miles Saturday.
43. 5 miles Monday, 8 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 20 miles Saturday.
44. 5 miles Monday, 8 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 20 miles Saturday.
45. 5 miles Monday, 8 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 20 miles Saturday.
46. 5 miles Monday, 8 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 20 miles Saturday.
47. 5 miles Monday, 8 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 9 miles Saturday.
48. 5 miles Monday, 8 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Thursday, 20 miles Saturday.
49. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 8 miles Saturday.
50. 3 miles Monday, 5 miles Wednesday, 3 miles Thursday, 8 miles Saturday.
51. 3 miles Monday, 3 miles Wednesday, 2 miles Thursday (WALKING), 26.2 miles Sunday (THE REAL THING).

Any friendly wagers? Do you think I can do this?

Have you heard of StumbleUpon?

The short explanation is that its a way for you to “channel surf” the internet.  Well a few of my posts here at WhatSomeWouldCallLies.com were stumbled, and the traffic shot through the roof.

Friday I received over 5,000 hits according to my SiteMeter.  That’s a hell of a lot of people!

So if you’re reading this because you stumbled into this site, “Hello.”  Feel free to comment and come back to visit often.

I think that I have one of the gayest iPods ever (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Here are some facts about my little mp3 player that will prove that there it is a little queer:

It holds 2 versions of Hello Dolly cast recordings; I have the Barbara Streisand film soundtrack and also the original Broadway cast recording.

I own every Madonna album every released in the U.S., and a few imports too.

I not only own and listen to, but I have practically memorized the entire recording of the legendary Judy Garland concert which was performed live at Carnige Hall in 1962.

The lyrics to the song “The Gay Messiah” are pretty damn gay. “He will then be reborn / From 1970′s porn / Wearing tubesocks with style / And such an innocent smile.”

I’ve got the original motion picture recording of The Wizard of Oz, the original London cast recording of The Wizard of Oz, the original motion picture recording of The Wiz, and the original Broadway cast recording of The Wiz.

There’s actually some more evidence than this (some techno-remixes, Diana Ross’ I’m Coming Out, The play count on Beyonce’s Irreplaceable, etc), but I think that the above examples prove the sexuality of my iPod just fine.

I love my iPod, regardless of the choices he has made. I love it so much I was thinking of joining PFLAG.