This is the one about smilies.

I installed my own emoticons here at WhatSomeWouldCallLies.com.  You, the reader, can even use them in the comments section if you wish.

They are basic.  The first is the normal smile (type “:)” without quotation marks)

The second is the sad face (type “:(” without quotation marks)

Winking (type “;)” without quotation marks)

**

And lastly is the astrix I use all the time (type “**” without quotation marks)

This is the one where the baby hates you.

Wow, kind of young to be so full of hate, no? Happy Monday y’all!

This is the one with a letter to Brea Olinda High School.

Dear Brea Olinda Unified School District,

Long time no talk, huh?  Yeah, well I just wanted to write you a quick letter to thank you for the help that you gave to me when I was a young man.

It was hard for me to really see how wise you guys were until very recently.  Back when I was a pimply young teenager, I just thought that you guys were homophobic.  In retrospect, you guys were covertly pushing the gay agenda, weren’t you? So stealthy, and so queer.  Like the BRAVO TV Network.

Back when you refused to allow same-sex couples attend the prom together because, you know, it’s “immoral,” I confused your message.  I mistakenly took you at your word, and thought that you guys believed that same-sex couples would corrupt the great evening with their “immorality.”  But when I think back to prom night, I realize that you weren’t trying to tell us that the night was only about (straight) sex.  You were also helping us homos develop our first fag-hag relationships (Hi Amanda!!).

And sure you threatened the jobs of any teachers that would come out to support a gay/straight alliance on campus.  You even went as far as canceling a club rush to assure that the GSA wouldn’t be allowed to participate.  But again, that was just a ruse.  Secretly, you guys were helping the GSA garner support by acting as the un-cool voice of the administration…of course the students would rebel and join anything you were so vocally against.  Thanks for that.

And as a clarinet player in the Brea Olinda High School Marching Band, we spent a lot of time on the school bus.  That is where I received my first school-sponsored hand job.

I don’t want to mention his name here (Google has a way of never forgetting things), but I will say that he would always bring a blanket to our late-night away football games.  And during one late-night bus ride, he unzipped me and…well, took me home.  Thank you Brea Olinda.

Then you guys sponsored overnight trips for the drama department.  You guys had to know that there was some gay sex going on there. Three male theater students in one room overnight.  Come on.

Well I hope that you guys are still spending those tax dollars to fund homosexual sex.  It helped me become the person I am today, and for that I am truly grateful.

Sincerely,

Mike Lawson

P.S…Go Wildcats!

This is the one where I update to WordPress 2.5.

It took almost no time at all to upgrade to the latest version of WordPress. This is my first post in the new interface.

It looks like all of my plugins are compatible and the upgrade went really smoothly. If you see anything odd, let me know.

This is the one with an oldie but goodie.

Last night I was having a conversation that got on the topic of karaoke–specifically Korean karaoke–and it reminded me of one of the best web videos I have ever seen.

And I’m not being hyperbolic.

I am literally brought to tears when I watch this.  So.  Funny.

Don’t give up on this video…watch it until the end.

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=FC-Osk8VLF4[/youtube]

This is the one about your mother.

It’s Friday, y’all!

As always, you can read all of the limericks here.

This is the one with a quotation.

This is the one where I feel partially responsible.

My coworkers in Southern California used to make fun of me because my desk would always be really clean and appear to be organized.  Remember when Brian took over my job and I blogged about his work habits?

The truth is that I’m not any more organized than the next guy…I fake it.  My desk always appears to be tidy.  I stack everything into piles and stuff odds-and-ends into drawers.  I can’t think clearly unless my work surface is clear.

Well Mr. D. is a cluttered desk kind of guy.   It doesn’t bother me; it’s his workspace, not mine.  But in the recent past he had told me that he wanted to make an effort to get organized.  So part of his birthday present from me last week were these cute clothes pin desk organizing things from The Pottery Barn.

And Monday Mr. D. organized his desk and blogged about it here.  Here is the before (notice the desktop picture of a kid flipping the bird!):

I got him the little clothes pins in front of his computer screen and the bigger ones on the right:

The real test is to see what it looks like in a month.

This is the one with World-Wide Wednesday.

It’s Wednesday y’all!

Gay? Fine By Me – This non-profit was founded on the idea that it would be easier for LGBT people to come out of the closet if their friends and allies publicly came out against homophobia.  The pictures on this site move me.

  12 Unspoken Rules For Urinal Etiquette – Men operate on a set of rules that is coded into our DNA when it comes to urinals.  This unspoken, never-taught list is available at Jeff’s site.

6 Quick Ways To Eat Healthier At Work – No excuses!  Start eating healthier, even if you sit all day behind a computer screen.

Let’s Change Hillary! – This is a tough one to explain…imagine a Hillary-themed Mr. Potato Head.

The Blog Verbosity Test – How wordy is your blog?  Type in your web address and they’ll compare your blog post length and word length to other blogs.  I found out that my average blog posts are around 95 words in length. This is 73 percent shorter than other bloggers who took this test.

Guts Clock - This has no real purpose, but I like the look and idea.

This is the one where I screw everything up.

I was trying to fix a small part of the left sidebar and I ended up screwing this entire page up…of course I didn’t back anything up, so I ended up having to rebuild the sidebar from scratch.

The comments were out of commission for a little while, but things are all back to normal now.

I’ve also added a “recent comments” section on the sidebar so we can keep track of conversations happening in the comment section.