This is just another thing that the entire world knew about and fell in love with before I caught on.  It wasn’t until January of this year that I picked up my first Potter novel (blame Mr. D. and the fact that I was stranded in Queen Creek with my sister’s book collection).

So I finished reading the Potter books this week, and I wanted to blog a bit about them.  Don’t worry, I don’t give anything away.

The Magic - Wait…hear me out.  I enjoyed these books, and I know that they are primarily concerned with the lives of wizards and witches (and mudbloods like Hermione).  What kind of bothered me was how convenient it was for Rowling to use this magic background as a deus ex machina.

For 6 novels J.K had me believing that Hogwarts was the most secure place in the world…not even the strongest wizards out there could break in.  But then in the final novel it was convenient to the plot to have Potter break in, so it suddenly becomes possible.

Part of the excitement of adventure books like these is watching the novelist cleverly figure out solutions with the ingredients in the pantry…not to magically create solutions when you’re in a bind.

Didn’t Live Up To The Hype - I know that when the final book was published and people had read the final pages, there were maniacs crying in the streets.  “Pot Heads” dressed as Harry when they went to purchase their copies of these books.  Respectable adults called in sick to work so they could read the newest book on the day it was released.

I am not trying to say that these books weren’t entertaining, but they were only entertaining.  Nothing too meaningful or life-changing.

Supports Witchcraft - Just kidding.  That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.  It’s a fucking fantasy novel!!

Seven Books, seriously? - This series could have been done (less lucratively, of course) in three.

We kind of knew the inevitable by the beginning of book two.  Why drag this story out for so long?  Granted I read all of the books practically right after one another…so the suspense between the books didn’t exist for me.

Gave literature blockbuster movie status - News reports about leaked books, People camping outside of book stores, Potter tattoos.  It was kind of awesome to see a book receive the kind of attention that these Potter books were getting.

Supports Witchcraft - Hahaha…just kidding again.

I do find solace in the fact that the Christian right got so caught up in the “Potter is a witch” nonsense.  It’s just another attempt for the religious wackos to drain this world of everything entertaining.

At my old job one woman told me that “Harry Potter is Satan,” and then went on to explain that she only let her children watch wholesome Disney films.

“Like Cinderella?” I asked.  Ha!

Appeals to large age range - How cute to see parents and children sharing books, getting excited about the release of the next, and talking about literature over dinner.

Rowling was pretty smart to blur the line between children and adult’s fiction.  Not only do you open up your market–selling more books–but you’ve also created a product that parents don’t feel guilty buying for their children.

The message of equality - House elfs, goblins, muggle-born, or mudbloods.  This book is crowded with minorities.  And there’s a constant message that everyone in this fictional world deserves respect and equality.

So, you’ve read them…what do you think?

My 12-year-old nephew likes Dick’s Sporting Goods, and he had some Christmas/Birthday money to burn and he wanted to buy some football-related paraphernalia.  My sister was being a lazy-ass and didn’t want to drive my nephew to Dick’s, so my nephew said, “If I find it online can I use your credit card?  Do you think their address is Dicks.com?”

Ha!

I said, “Yeah, I think it’s Dicks.com…try it.”

As my lazy-ass sister sprung to her feet and grabbed the mouse.

I had some bizarre interaction with a stranger on Wednesday when I went to fill-up at the gas station.  I was leaning on my car minding my business as the gas station raped me in the rear…I pumped about $50 into my tank.

Then the man behind me was returning from the store part of the station and he was looking over his shoulder at where was coming from.

“Wow,” he said to me.  “That is some hot ass.”

Ugh.  I thought he was some horny straight guy salivating over some woman.  I gave him a courteous smile.

“There are two kids right by the door,” he said–pointing with his head.

I was disturbed by his use of the word “kids,” so I took a look.

The guy was actually talking about two young men.  Men.  Young ones.  They were probably in their 20s, but this guy was in his mid-40s.  So to him, I guess “kids” was appropriate.

What was strange was that as soon as I realized that this guy was a homo (in retrospect his tiger tattoo and sleeveless shirt should have given it away), my disgust dropped away.

That’s a double-standard…right?

I’m always suspicious of people that say, “I never really got into ‘Seinfeld’.”

Am I wrong?  This show was culturally significant.  To this day–ten years after the show wrapped–I still find myself saying, “remember when that happened in Seinfeld?”

A couple of days ago I was sitting in my office and I heard loud pounding coming from the hallway…and I stepped out and noticed that the outside doors of our building were locked.  A young woman was trying to get in to an office other than ours.  I let her in.

When I returned, I told a co-worker what happened and she said, “Remember when that happened in Seinfeld?” and then we laughed about when Jerry let someone into Elaine’s building and the guy turned out to be a burglar.

I challenge you to find an every-day event that can’t be related to a Seinfeld episode.

I’ve had mixed feelings about this woman I work with.  We both started at the same time, so there was some bonding over that.  And when we are alone she opens up  a lot and is fun to talk to.

The problem is that she’s a total butt-kisser to those with “power” and straight-up rude to those that she believes can give her nothing.

So I was kind of up in the air about her, since we were allies in this new environment and we had good talks over lunch…but she was a bitch to the receptionist regularly.

Well the jury came in yesterday.

I was returning to the office from a meeting off-site (it was actually a job interview….that’s another blog post though), and I called this woman and said that I’d stop at Jack ‘N’ The Box to retrieve lunch for the two of us.

Well dumb me, I accidentally spilled two 32 oz. sodas on my lap on the way back to the office.  Well, the first actually spilled down my leg and in my effort to catch it, I threw the second onto my lap and the lid popped off and formed a cold soda pond in my lap.

I laughed it off and walked into the office with cola-flavored footprints following me on the asphalt.  And do you know what the bitch said?

She asked, “Well, what am I supposed to drink with my lunch?”

I’m no longer up in the air about her.

In my 12 of 12 for May I included a picture of a letter I received. I didn’t blur out my address and I even included a subtle hint about how I loved to receive snail mail.

I was lucky enough to receive two pieces of mail thanks to that post. The first was from Los Angeles…from a guy named David. He didn’t leave his last name, but he did leave his initials.

David sent a cute greeting card, an old photo of a dog, and a vocabulary flashcard for the word “piquant.”

If you’re reading David, Thanks!

I also got an Audrey Hepburn postcard from Boscardin. She said nice things too. Thanks Maria!
And in case you missed it, my mailing address is:

2869 W. Yellow Peak Drive
Queen Creek, AZ. 85242

Feel free to send cryptic postcards, heartwarming greeting cards, or expensive presents my way.

Every Wednesday I share a handful of links that I’ve found around the web.  And it’s Wednesday, y’all!

10 Items You Think Make You Cool, But Don’t - The title explains it.
Mail Them A Brick - Sick of junk mail?  Send them a brick.
Analogy - I’m not sure if this would ever be useful, but it’s an interesting thing to look at.
Things younger than John McCain - What does the magic eightball, Keith Richards, the ballpoint pen, and zip codes have in common?

What’s in a name?

There is a guy named Frank Schmuck (that’s right) running for the Arizona House of Reps. in the 20th District (Ahwatukee, Chandler, and Tempe).

I’d doubt that voters are so superficial that they’d refuse to support someone that was named Schmuck…as long as he wasn’t one.  I just can’t help but chuckle when I see this Republican’s signs that say “Schmuck” and then there’s the italicized confirmation right below.  What does that mean?!?!

I have four documentaries at home right now from Netflix, and I just realized how completely gay they are:

Life After Tomorrow

This documentary offers a glimpse of what the “Annie” experience was like and how it shaped the lives of the young women who have gone on to both performing and non-performing careers. Former orphans appearing in the film include MSNBC anchor, Dara Brown, actress Sarah Jessica Parker, recording artist Joanna Pacitti, Emmy award-winning actress Martha Byrne and songwriter Danielle Brisebois.

For some, “Annie” marked the beginning of a fruitful career in show biz. Many were able to use the opportunity as a springboard to related careers in entertainment. For others, the incredible experience at such an early age was enough of a taste of show business to last a lifetime. Some girls found themselves struggling with feelings of loss and frustration with having their show business careers end so abruptly. As one cast member in the film remarks, “I feel like my career could not have peaked at ten!”

For The Bible Tells Me So

In this Sundance documentary, director Daniel Karslake goes to the Bible to examine the ways in which conservative Christian groups have used–and sometimes exploited–holy scripture to deny basic human rights to gays and lesbians around the world.  Highlights include interviews with V. Gene Robinson, the first openly gay bishop in the Anglican Communion, and Chrissy Gephardt, the lesbian daughter of former U.S. Rep. Dick Gephardt.

Yellow Brick Road

Filmmakers Matthew Maker and Keith Rondinelli capture a high-profile theatrical production of “The Wizard of Oz” (based on L. Frank Baum’s beloved children’s book), performed by an enthusiastic cast of players with disabilities.  By interspersing poignant moments of onstage fantasy with scenes from each character’s offstage reality, this moving documentary strives to fully tell the troupe members’ inspiring personal stories.

Madonna: I’m Going To Tell You A Secret

Director Jonas Akerlund chronicles Madonna’s “Re-Invention” tour in this documentary, offering a behind-the-scenes look at the collaborative effort and how supporting players are all integral to the success of the show.  You’ll get a glimpse at the audition process, backstage antics, live performances and even Madonna’s family life.  When her children and husband make an appearance, the provocative pop queen reveals yet another facet of herself.