I was really excited a couple of weeks ago when the Marlboro girl approached me at a bar and gave me a free Zippo lighter.

“For free?!?” I asked.  I really couldn’t believe that I could get something so great for nothing.

The only catch was that I had to tell her I smoked, and then I had to give her all of my personal infromation.  But I think I can handle a few pieces of junk mail for a free (and very sturdy) lighter, right?

So yesterday my incredible boyfriend, who knew how excited I was about this lighter, went and purchased lighter fluid or whatever you put inside of these things to make them light.  And then this morning I lit it a few times.  And now I have no use for this thing.

If I were actually a smoker, I guess I’d be using it quite frequently.  But I don’t even light candles all that often.

Maybe I should start smoking so I could get some use out of this thing.  Too extreme?

Yesterday two of my friends and me launched a new podcast called Sweet Talk.  It’s a weekly diabetes-themed podcast that isn’t all about studies and stats…but more about the lives that we’re living with diabetes.

If you’re not diabetic, it may be a bit boring.  I’m not sure.  But you should click through and check it out anyway.

We are still working out some of the technical kinks (we’re currently using SKYPE, and the quality stinks).  We all live in different time zones, and have to connect over the world-wide-web.  Anyone know of a better way to conference call?

We’d also love any help with future show topics.  Click through and suggest away!

Olive hides under the couch when we vacuum.

My hair was getting a bit long, and I was contemplating a mohawk.  I asked Mr. D. if he’d buzz it for me.

The mohawk thing didn’t work out exactly…we cut it too short.  Instead I got this:

Daniel doesn’t know it yet, but he just found himself a new job as my barber.

It’s only taken me a week to pull them off of my camera.  Here are the photos from the vacation I took to So. California last weekend with Mr. D.

We had a 2 hour window to waste when we arrived, so we stopped at the Crystal Cathedral.  I used to live right next to this over-sized church, and had spent some time on the grounds previously.  So I showed D around.

The silver baby Jesus.

Made sure to stop at YogurtLand.  You’d be surprised to know that YogurtLands don’t exist in Phoenix.  But there will be a Scottsdale location soon.

Laguna Beach.  Someone had the bright idea of walking out in the tidepools without shoes on.  Ouch.

Stopped at Olivera Street before meeting Mr. D’s cousin in LA.

At a bar called Flux.

Some lesbian came out of the ladies room swinging a bra over her head.  I threw it on and took a few photos (drunk).

Daniel.

Alf.

Cherisse.

Yesterday morning I got a call from a guy named Alon at GoDaddy.  He told me that his job was to search the web and to find people talking about GoDaddy…and if they had issues, to help them find a resolution.

The guy at technical support for GoDaddy that originally “helped” me and instructed me to delete my database did not leave good notes, so I had to explain most of the story to him.

He was really helpful and had some of their tech guys send me a backup of my database (that included my last 2 years of blog content) for free…even though their tech support had instructed me that it would cost $75.

Then my boyfriend sat up all night figuring out how to merge the old content with the new content.  And he was successful!

All of my content is back!

I was driving an ugly turquoise Jeep Cherokee for a while back in 2006/2007.  It was a really ugly car, but sturdy and got me where I needed to go.

After driving her around for over a year, I started having mechanical problems (one that I had famously fixed with duct tape).  I replaced a few hoses, my brakes started squeaking.  And then one night after slamming the driver’s side door, it never opened again.  I literally had to climb over and exit through the passenger’s side door.

One afternoon it was really hot and I was sweating (because of course this car didn’t have air conditioning), and I climbed out of the jeep and slammed the passanger’s side door and the front tail light fell out.  It was like something out of a cartoon.

During this time my roommate Cindy bought a new car, and I ended up purchasing her old car from her.  So I put the Jeep on Craigslist. Overnight I received 178 responses.  When I woke up in the morning I didn’t know what to do, so I just ignored all of them and went into the office.  “I can work that out later,” I thought to myself.

During my lunch break I stopped at a 7-11 convenience store (do they have those where you live?) to buy a soda, and then I was going to go home to eat.  When I was jumping over into the passenger’s seat, a man standing outside of the Auto Zone store (do they have those where you live?) made a comment about the door.

“I could fix that door really cheap,” he said.

“I”m not putting a penny into this piece of junk,” I told him.  “I’m trying to sell it.”

“How much?”

To make this short story shorter, I won’t go into all of it…but the dude ended up test-driving and then buying the stupid Jeep right there on the spot.  On my lunch break.  And then I went back to the office and deleted all of the 178 emails from Craigslist.

This really happened.  Forget the name of this blog for a second, because this story is entirely true.

I was boarding an airplane back in 2002 (give or take) to visit my parents in Arizona…I lived in California at the time.  And I hate the your-side-then-my-side-then-your-side exit rules, and more importantly I hate those assholes that ignore the unspoken rules and just jump up and try to exit before everyone in front of them.

To avoid having to deal with these issues I usually try to score the seat in the very last row at the window.  When you sit there you can just let all of the people in front of you exit the plane while you sit and read a little.  You all end up waiting at the baggage claim together anyway.

So I’m in my ideal seat – last row at the window – and this flight is filling up quickly.  A woman comes and sits down on the aisle seat of my row and introduces herself.  We’ll call her “Joan” for the sake of this story.

Joan is clearly a little intoxicated and is very interested in talking with me.  I tell Joan where I’m headed, what I do for a living, and what book I’m reading.

“This book is called Fast Food Nation,” I told her.

She was really interested in the book, and asked me to tell her a few things from the story.  So I shared.  “Well, I just read that in the year 2000, Americans spent more on fast food than they did on higher education.”

“You are shitting me,” she said as she dug into her purse to take out a piece of paper and pen.  I think she knew she was too drunk to remember this conversation in the morning.

This story really could stop here.  But it got even stranger.

While me and drunk Joan were talking, the plan was getting full and the only open seat was right between Joan and me.  Everyone is sitting.  All of the luggage is securely stowed in the overhead bins.  And a woman runs onto the plane, and is forced to sit between me and Joan.

We are all cordial.  The tardy lady, the drunk lady, and me.  Joan introduces me to the tardy lady and tells her what I do for a living, my age, and where I’m headed.  At the time I didn’t think that it was strange that Joan gave very little information about herself.

Then Joan told the tardy lady, “Mike here is reading a book about fast food.”

And the tardy lady said, “Really?  My father is Carl Karcher.  He founded Carl’s Jr. and Hardees.”

What the hell kind of coincidence is that?  The first chapter of Fast Food Nation is all about this lady’s father and there is even a family photo!

Before we left the plane, Carl’s daughter gave us a coupon for a free hamburger and told us that she always uses these coupons as tips.  Cheap.

Changes are coming.

When GoDaddy raped me and stole my money a few weeks ago (CAUTION: NEVER USE GODADDY), and when all of my content was lost, I received this strange gift: a blank slate.

In the past I’ve lost focus of what I wanted to do with this website, and that is to simply tell stories.  I may occasionally post a kid using his middle finger or a random Photoshop project, but I’m going back to why I started WhatSomeWouldCallLies.com.

This is a storytelling blog.

I’m still upset that I lost all of my content.  Especially those 11 posts that were bringing in hundreds of Stumbleupon users and Google searchers each day.  Since the screw-up that is entirely GoDaddy’s fault, I have had trouble getting back into the groove.  How do you start writing the third act when you know you just lost your first two in a technical hiccup?

But I’m moving past that.

I have created a backup system of my database that is emailed to me every night in case GoDaddy screws something up again.  And I’m doing a little editing of the design here too.

I’m taking my first trip back to California since I moved to Arizona just over a year ago.  It’s crazy to think that it’s been a year already.

Me and D are driving out on Friday, and we’ll be back on Sunday.

Pictures to come.