This is the one about writing.

I wrote this many years ago; it’s a monologue told from my mother’s perspective about my interests in writing.

Michael…Michael…Michael.  You always amaze me, Michael.

You are going to be the next Stephen King. Don’t doubt me – your mom is always right.  Where do you come up with these offbeat ideas? You know, Stephen King probably started just like this…then, he probably thought “hey, I can do more than just write newspaper articles, I am going to write a book.”  Then he wrote Carrie.

I’ll bet that Mr. King probably laughs at some of his writing when he wrote newspaper editorials like this. Not to put down what you’re doing at the newspaper…I meat its great practice.  I mean, baseball players hit balls in batting cages…see where I’m going?

I don’t know why you’re laughing at me, Michael. I’m serious here. I know you keep saying you don’t want to write books like Stephen King…but that’s probably what John Grisham used to say.  Until he got big.  As soon as you get a taste of what real writers taste, you’ll be begging for it.  Just you watch.  Your mom is always right.

Do you remember when you were in high school and you did that report on that Truman man?  Truman Capter…oh yeah, Truman Capote. Do you remember that, Michael? You did that report where they made you write a true-life story like that Truman man did? Since that day, I knew that you were going to grow up to be my own little Stephen King.

Did you know that this Truman man was gay? I’m serious…he was. I saw something on the Bravo Channel about him. He was. And, I think that he lived a really hard and horrible life because he chose that route. I don’t feel that God told him to choose that route.  But…well, if any of my children told me that they wanted to be gay I would still love them.  Because they are still my children.  But, I don’t think that it’s right.  And your mom is always right.

This is the one about tattoos, playing the organ and transvestites.

I guess I should start by saying that it’s been about two years since I’ve blogged a book review here.  Life got in the way.

I never stopped reading…just stopped writing about it.  But the book nerd is back, bitches.

As I struggle to find what this blog is, I might throw up some more book blogs.  I might not.   But I was too moved by John Irving’s Until I Find You that I couldn’t help but write a little something.

This book’s protagonist is a typical John Irving character: a lonely child raised by his mother.  The kid, Jack Burns, gets sexually abused by older women, follows his mother around the world, sleeps in tattoo parlors and becomes a Hollywood actor.

To me, Until I Find You is about scars.

This story is about the scars created by a twisted childhood.  This story is about the scars created by Jack’s absent father.  The scars of sexual abuse and early exposure to sex.  The scars of fame.  And the literal scars of tattooing done by Jack’s mother, and the damage done to the hands of Jack’s father from years of playing the church organ.

We are all just a product of what we’ve been done, and what’s been done to us.

Critics of this book might point out that it’s quite lengthy (820 pages), and I’d agree that about 200 – 300 pages of this book could have been easily chopped.  But if you open your mind and allow yourself to get lost in the descriptive world of the Amerstdam Red Light district, prostitution, children’s theater in Toronto, transvestites in Hollywood, lesbianism, wrestling and professional church organists…it’s a fun ride.

One particular poignant quote that is actually very similar to my blog’s title is not from John Irving.  His character actually quotes writer William Maxwell:

“Memory. . . is really a form of storytelling that goes on continually in the mind and often changes with the telling. . . In any case, in talking about the past we lie with every breath we draw.”

Basically, we tell what some would call lies.

Parents’ll fuck you up, but that’s what makes you you.

This is the one with a dilemma.

I’ve done a bit of home improvement lately.  Since I moved out of Daniel’s house all of my books have been in boxes.

If you know anything about me, it’s that I really like books.  So it’s been painful to know that (1) all of my books are not on display and (2) I can’t just randomly pick up a book to read on the shitter when I’m dropping off a shadoobie.

So this weekend I bought and erected (tee-hee) a bookshelf.  But there’s a problem:

I have way too many books for ONE set of shelves.  What’s a book boy to do?  My options are:

1. Start taking some of my books to a used bookstore to get cash or store credit.
2. Buy another bookshelf.
3. Throw away/donate some of the crappy titles.

What would you do?

This is the one that is a simple pleasure.

This is kind of complicated to explain…but a really simple idea.  Let’s see if I can do it:

I’m in love with that moment when I open a book that I’m reading and remove my bookmark and place it, while reading, in the already-read part at the front of the book instead of the yet-to-be-read part because the already-read part is bigger than the yet-to-be-read part.

Do you follow?

This is the one with the books of 2010.

I totally kicked my goals’ ass.  Totally.

I wanted to read 50 books in 2010 and here’s the list of titles I read this year (and I’m pretty sure there were a few books that I forgot to record on the blog):

1. Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
2. How To Be Good by Nick Hornby
3. Witch & Wizard by James Patterson
4. Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer
5. A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams
6. Drama Queers by Frank Anthony Polito
7. Kristy’s Great Idea by Ann M. Martin
8. Hide And Seek by James Patterson
9. Good Faith by Jane Smiley
10. The Lifeguard by James Patterson
11. Rockstar’s Rainbow by Kevin Galvin
12. Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby
13. Claudia and The Phantom Phone Call by Ann M. Martin
14. Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald Dahl
15. Gone Till November by Wallace Stroby
16. Where the Wild Things Are by Dave Eggers
17. This is Just Exactly Like You by Drew Perry
18. The Highly Effective Detective Plays The Fool by Richard Yancey
19. The Truth About Stacey by Ann M. Martin
20. A Good And Happy Child by Justin Evans
21. Perforated Heart by Eric Bogosian
22. A Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
23. Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O’Neil
24. Cross Country by James Patterson
25. Slouching Toward Bethlehem by Joan Didion
26. The House of Tomorrow by Peter Bognanni
27. Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs
28. Choke by Chuck Palahniuk
29. Say Everything: How blogging began, what it’s becoming, and why it matters
30. The Model Millionare by Oscar Wilde
31. Mary Anne Saves The Day by Ann M. Martin
32. Lux The Poet by Martin Millar
33. Indecision by Benjamin Kunkel
34. Sammy’s House by Kristin Gore
35. Dawn and the Impossible Three by Ann M. Martin
36. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
37. The Indian In the Cupboard by Lynne Reid Banks
38. Ford County Stories by John Grisham
39. Kristy’s Big Day by Ann M. Martin
40. Quickie by James Patterson
41. You Shall Know Our Velocity by Dave Eggers
42. Play It As It Lays by Joan Didion
43. The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket
44. Election by Tom Perrotta
45. Cut by Patricia McCormick
46. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
47. The Lie by Chad Kultgen
48. Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume
49. Making A Literary Life by Carolyn See
50. Blubber by Judy Blume
51. The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis
52. The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
53. Apathy and Other Small Victories by Paul Nielien
54. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
55. Prince Caspian: Return to Narnia by C.S. Lewis
56. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis
57. The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis
58. The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis
59. The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis
60. The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis
61. The Girl Who Played With Fire by Stieg Larsson

Yay!

I did find, however, that it was kind of a chore to document each title here.  I like the idea of kind of keeping track of what books I read…but in 2011 I’m just going to post a photo of the book cover in an album on my Facebook page called “I READ this.”

My book posts are some of the least read pages on my blog…so I know I should post so many of them in the new year.  If you want to keep up with what I’m reading, just be my friend on Facebook.

And some of my most-read posts are the ones that chronicle my dating life and sex life.  So get ready for a year of stories about blow-jobs-gone bad, getting cruised at a McDonalds and other assorted filthy stories.

I’m not going to STOP writing about books.  I’m just not going to feel obligated to document each title I read in 2011.

This is the one with a dragon tattoo.

A couple of people made fun of all the kids lit I’ve read this year, so I decided that the 55th book I read in 2010 was going to be the Bestseller The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.

On more than one occasion I have picked up The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo at a bookstore or Target and decided not to buy it because of the annoying family tree that is on page one.  “If I need a visual aid to help me understand this book, I’m not interested,” I told myself.

Yet so many people who I respect have told me that they enjoyed this novel, so I thought it was worth a go.

I bought it at the grocery story (that should have been the first sign that it was beneath me and my book snobbery ways).  For about the first 150 pages there are a million character introductions and there is about as much action as a golf tournament.

The story does kind of pick up once it’s told through Lisbeth’s point-of-view…but that’s like 200 pages into this thick book.  She’s a quirky tattooed girl who is a computer hacker with a photographic memory.  She’s totally kick ass and cute.  Not only does she save the day and find the murderer (spoiler alert!!), but she also saves this book.

Overall I wasn’t a huge fan of this book, but I think I will read the rest of the series just because I know that Lisbeth’s character is in them.

I’m going to try to get through five more books in 2010 to round it off at an easy 60.  Think I can??

This is the one about first lines (again).

Brian shared this image with me from the Thx Thx Thx blog:

And it reminded me of this post I wrote back in 2008 about the first lines of some of my favorite books.  It made me think that I haven’t read any REALLY good first lines in a novel for some time.  Have you guys come across any?

This is the one about a lion, witch and a wardrobe.

I finished The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe yesterday. (This was the 54th book I’ve read in 2010 if you’re counting.) I’ve read this book a few times already…once as a kid and then another time when I was running a literacy club with kids back in 2003ish.

Each time I read it I kind of fall deeper and deeper in love with Narnia. I remember checking the back of my closets after reading this novel the first time. And yesterday after reading the final line (Once a King in Narnia, always a King in Narnia) I kind of got the chills because I realized that I got something different out of the story this time around.

Nice is different than good; something can be terrible and good at the same time. Write that shit down. Tattoo it on my body somewhere.

I found myself thinking WHAT IS GOOD?

As an athiest, I also like how Aslan (who is the “GOD” of Narnia) is described as both terrible and good. Too many modern Christians think of their god as a super-happy fun god. But read the bible bitches. He mean.

Even if your ignore all the Christianity metaphors, The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe is a freaking great story. It’s a classic adventure of GOOD vs EVIL.

And now onto my next book. I was told recently that I read too much kids lit…so I’ll be reading an adult novel next.

This is the one about 52 and 53.

I had a goal of reading 50 books in 2010, and I just completed books 52 and 53.  So I totally rocked my goal.

I’ve been reading a lot of kids literature lately.  Some of it was because I’m curious to see what makes a good kid’s book, and some of it is because of my volunteer work with in2books.com.

At in2books, I’ve been paired up with a young 3rd grader named Brooke who lives in Georgia.  We’ve written one another letters and I’m supposed to encourage her to make connections between literature and her life.  We read the same books at the same time and write letters (not essays or boring school papers, but real letters about ourselves) to one another.

So anyway, the 52nd book I read in 2010 was Judy Blume’s Blubber.

It was kind of coincidence that I picked this book about bullying up at a time when this bullying epidemic has played out in the media.

If you don’t know, Blubber is what all the kids call this fat girl in the third grade class.  The protagonist, Jill, isn’t innocent…but is kind of silent witness to all the bullying of ‘Blubber.’

And just like any third grade class, the tables can quickly turn and the bullies can soon become the bullied.  I want to read this with some kids…in fact I think I’m going to start a “Blubber Support Group” on Friday where I’ll serve snacks, read the book, and facilitate a discussion.  I’ll let you know how that goes.

And the 53rd book I picked up this year was The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis.  This book, of course, is part of the Chronicles of Narnia series.

This book was actually the 6th book Lewis wrote in the series…but chronologically takes place BEFORE all the other books.  And in a 1957 letter to a fan, Lewis suggested that The Magician’s Newphew should be read BEFORE all the others.  And I did.

It was a decent little story.  I did, of course, hate how the author kept saying “of course.”  That was annoying.

And I’ve already ordered on Amazon the box set of this series, so I’m going to see how many more I can get through before the beginning of next year.

So, what’s good?  What are YOU reading??

This is the one about 50 and 12.

I finished 50 books in 2010!

Last week I finished Carolyn See’s Making A Literary Life.

With this book, I’ve reached my goal of reading 50 books in the year.  And I’m still going.  I’m almost done with 51, actually.  How many books do you think I’ll read this year?

On a side note, we just published episode 12 of Game Night Guys!  Go check it out.

We’ve had a lot of fun podcasting, and I hope that at least a few of you are listening.  We’ve been getting new listeners from all over because we were a featured podcast on iTunes.

This week we played a game called EAT IT! It’s a candy-themed game (just in time for Halloween)!

And if you love me, why don’t you rate the podcast in iTunes, or LIKE us on Facebook.