This is the one where I look like a complete ass.
Wednesday, August 25th, 2010I was kind of hesitant to post this story…but then I thought honest blogging is good blogging. Then I thought a true lady doesn’t kiss and tell. Then I thought a penny saved is a penny earned. And I started getting all of my clichés all confused.
So whatever. Here’s the story of that time when I was a selfish ass.
About 7 or 8 years ago, when I was living in California I was dating this guy (whose name escapes me…Darrell? David? Who the hell knows?!). Physically, the guy was an 8 or 9. He kind of looked like CNN’s TJ Holmes, minus the suit.
We did normal date things. Dinners. Movies. Visits to the beach. Whatever. But I started noticing that he was hesitant to get too intimate. We would make out, but when I’d try to get second base, I’d get the mormon-brush-off.
We were like three or four dates in and I was starting to realize that aside from his CNN anchor looks, there wasn’t much else that I liked about the guy. He was going to school to be a veterinarian. Loved horses. Spent all of his free time at the horse stables. And the closest I’ve been to a real horse was when I rode the stagecoach at Knott’s Berry Farm.
So it fizzled.
He was going to come over to my place to watch a movie for our fifth or sixth date, and I made a resolution. I was done. This movie date would be our last get-together, but maybe I could get more than a kiss…if you follow.
He showed up and we watched a movie. We rolled around on the bed, but I didn’t get anything that I had hoped for.
After the movie I was kind of a jerk. He wanted to hang out some more but I did that fake yawn thing and looked at the clock. He got the hint and left.
For a normal person, this story would end now. But for some reason my life is stranger than fiction, and too many of my experiences are worthy of a tele-novela plot point.
Please remember that when I said “goodbye” that night, I had every intention of never seeing this guy again. I like a little hard-to-get…but I’m no fan of unattainable.
Later that night I got an email. The gist of the email was this, “I like you a lot. I’ve been less-than-honest. I was diagnosed with HIV about a year ago and I thought you should know before we get any more intimate.”
Fuck.
What were my options after that?
1. I could ignore his email. Dodge his phone calls. And look like a complete ass.
2. I could respond that I wasn’t really interested in him, and it had nothing to do with the HIV. And look like a complete ass.
3. I could lie and continue to date him for a while and slowly break it off. Stringing him along and looking like a complete ass.
What would you have done? I ended up going with number two. It was the only honest approach…but I’m sure I came out of it looking like an ass in his eyes.
What would you have done? Additionally, would you pursue a relationship with someone if you learned early on (way before you LOVED the person) that they had HIV? I’m super-curious.
Over a year ago, my supervisor at work used the word “fag” while making fun of one of his roommates. As you can imagine, I lost a bit of respect for the guy after that. And then a few months after that, on 
I don’t want to be Debbie Downer here…but the equality in marriage people have launched a “Repeal Prop 8 in 2010″ campaign that is accompanied by a butt load of posters, and I kind of hate the slogan.











