I’ve worked around children in some capacity for the past eleven years, and I’ve heard plenty of strong opinions about kids and social media.  The general consensus is that websites like Myspace and Facebook are a sexual predator’s playground and children have nothing to gain from such virtual cesspools.  From my experience, however, the benefits of socializing on the Interweb by young people are so many that it’s hurtful for us to continue making it difficult for youth to socialize on the net.

Let’s simplify this for a second: teens – who have traditionally been difficult to motivate to read or write – are spending their free time reading and writing.  Teens – who aren’t widely known for using their analytical skills or for socializing outside of their comfort zones – are using their analytical skills to diversify their circle of friends.  What’s wrong with any of that?

Don’t get me wrong.  I know that there are creeps trolling the web trying to talk to your children.  In fact, if you search the Internet long enough you’ll be able to find some antiquated article from a paper like the Tallahassee Times about some teen that made a bad choice to meet some pervert at a Waffle House on a Friday night.  I get that.  I know they are out there.  But I also know that if you send your pre-teen out to the mall on a Friday night there are equally pervy guys out there and that threat is just as real.  And don’t you remember the wave of stories in the late 80s where men were driving up to groups of unsuspecting young women and exposing themselves?

If I were a parent (and every day that I look at my little-bitty bank account, I’m glad that I’m not), I would avoid completely banning social networking.  I’d tell my children about the perverts that are out at the mall, on the internet, and maybe even working at the local grocery story…but I wouldn’t try to scare them into thinking every person at the mall, on the interent, or working at the grocery story was a child-molesting scumbag.  I would warn my kids about over-sharing personal information to any stranger (on the internet or otherwise)…but I would still encourage them to blog, update status messages, and share their feelings to their social networks online.

So I guess my overall point is this: the ban-all-things-cool-about-the-internet-because-we-are-afraid-of-scary-internet-monsters approach won’t work.  Kids are smart, and when mom, dad or the school principal start telling cautionary tales about Internet witches that want to kidnap children and cook them in a children-shaped oven, they tune you out and miss the real message: don’t assume that everyone is good.  End of story.

When you work for ten plus hours with the same group of 100 kids, you start to create different ways to entertain yourself.

One of my primary sources of daily entertainment includes getting kids to sing for me.  I do this two ways.  The first is a tit-for-tat sort of thing.  I say “do you want to do activity X?  Then someone in here needs to sing me a song that I like or tell me a joke that makes me literally laugh out loud (LLOL).”  Kids get up and I audition their talents.  It’s funny because the kids have started to figure out that I really like songs from commercials, and they’ve been testing out any commercial song they can think of.  Right now just about every kid in the Club sings “London Gold…it’s the best” subconsciously.  That stupid jingle is stuck in EVERYONE’s head.
I’ve also been teaching kids songs that they’d probably normally never know…like Manic Monday by the Bangles.  I just randomly yell “It’s just another Manic Monday” and the kids respond with the Woo-woo-woo part.  Here’s an audio sample of our greatness:

Crap, it’s going to be a long summer.

“She’s only five. She’s kind of weak, and a little dumb, but I like her.”

The first day of Summer Day Camp is done…only 47 more to go. But who is counting?

Oscar: “My dog just had another set of puppies.”
Luis: “Your dog had puppies like three months ago.”
Oscar: “I know…she has a lot of puppies.”
Luis: “That’s because your dog is a…” he paused to think about the word he was going to use.  “That’s because your dog is a H-O-R.”

The point is that I was in Target the other day and I heard one eight-year-old yell to his eight-year-old friend “I love this movie…have you seen it?”

And anyone who knows me knows that I have trouble staying out of conversations regardless of if I was invited or not.

So when I heard the kid say that he liked a movie, I turned my head to see what movie it was…totally expecting to see them gawking over Iron Man or Avatar or something that kids are into.  But instead, the eight-year-old was pointing to this movie:

I’m serious.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.  WTF?

Really, kid?  You liked the movie set during World War II…about the non-Jewish boy who finds friendship with the Jewish boy (in the “striped pajamas”) on the other side of the fence?  What about it stimulated your little boy brain?

Bless his heart.

They are always fighting about stupid things.  “Mike, Jay said that he would walk with me and then he started running.”  Or “Mike, I was playing basketball with Ian and he stole the ball.”

I’ve tried the, “just don’t play with one another” approach.  I’ve tried giving each of them really important tasks that would separate them…but just like Ike and Tina, as soon as my advice is dispensed and my back is turned, they run back to one another’s arms.  Back together, pissing one another off and tattling on one another.

Here’s one I got recently:

“Mike,” Jay ran up to me panting.  “I was standing by Ian and he called me the ‘A’ word.”

Ian is running toward us and denying whatever Jay had told me – even though he wasn’t close enough to hear exactly what Jay said.

“Ian, did you call Jay the ‘A’ word?” I asked.

“No!” Ian said.  “I didn’t say he was an asshole, I said he was being an ass.”

Ugh.

A seven year old at work was explaining to us why he didn’t get his math homework completed the night before.

“I couldn’t go into my mom’s room to get my backpack because she was in there all night with a guy.  She was working.”

The world’s oldest profession?

And it’s not too late if you want to give a dollar or two to my fruitcake. Just click here.

I posted yesterday that if my fruitcake raised $50, that I would record a video of myself singing Christmas carols and then post it to YouTube.  Well, as of this writing my fruitcake hasn’t raised $50…it’s raised $60!

So I’m taking requests.  What do you want to hear?  Keep in mind that I’m a really lousy singer.

And thanks to all of you that donated a few bucks.  It makes me feel good to know that you guys contribute to the good work that The Boys & Girls Clubs of America does…that’s why you donated, right?  It wasn’t because of the lame-o YouTube wager, right?

BTW, it’s not too late to donate to my fruitcake.  Click here if you want to see the fruitcake, re-gift it to your friends, or donate a dollar or two.

After she left I went into my office and the Google homepage was up on my screen, and this was what I saw:

How freaking adorable is that??