I have been cracking myself up lately when listening to the radio by adding “…in bed” to the end of song titles. It’s hard to believe that I’m so immature, but it’s gotten to the point where I can’t listen to the radio in the car without busting up.
Here’s Billboard’s current Top 10, with the addendum (#4 is hysterical):
This week’s podcast has my very first interview. I called this episode A Drink With Jam And Bread.
We all have role models that we can credit for helping us develop into the people we have become. Sometimes it’s your family. Sometimes it’s a teacher. And sometimes it’s a Captain and his seven children.
Listen and let me know what you think!
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It’s Tuesday, y’all. Here’s episode 12. Boy meets boy. Boy falls in love. And then boy records a song about it.
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I’ve written before about my love for the streaming music service Spotify. Well I’ve just found another reason to love it; you can send songs to your Facebook friends, and I’ve sent meta messages to my Facebook acquaintances. Well some of the messages are pretty obvious, I guess. Perhaps this is funnier to me than it is to anyone else, but here’s what I’ve sent so far:
Coldplay’s Fix You to the gay Mormon kid that just got married to a woman even though he’s told me he’s gay
Gershwin’s I Got Rhythm to the girl who was on our high school’s color guard team and was void of rhythm
Dolly Parton’s Jolene to the guy that stole my girlfriend from me in high school
Fugees Killing Me Softly With His Song to the guy I used to work with that thought he was a good singer but isn’t
Guns N’ Roses Welcome To The Jungle to a friend living in Newport Beach because I just found out that my favorite restaurantPita Jungle is opening up a location in Newp.
Reba McEntire’s The Greatest Man I Never Knew to a blog buddy that I’ve had a virtual friendship with for a few years but have never met in person
Rihanna’s S&M to a friend that has told me she has only had missionary sex
Whitney Houston’s I Wanna Dance With Somebody to a bunch of people I’d like to dance with
Little Jackie’s Love Will Find Me to my internet crush that lives 500 miles away
Mika’s Happy Ending to my friend studying to be a (legitimate) massage therapist
Peter Bjorn and John’s Young Folks to my oldest Facebook friend
Plain White T’s Hey There Delilah to my friend Delilah
Sisqo’s The Thong Song to an old co-worker that never wore sneakers, only flip-flops (thongs)
Trey Songz’ Bottoms Up to my ex-boyfriend…long story
Willow’s Whip My Hair to my completely bald friend
I seriously love sending these. If you’re a Facebook friend, you might be getting a delivery soon.
After catching the new Lady GaGa video for Marry The Night I couldn’t help but see the parallel between the monologue in the beginning of the video and the title of this blog. She basically says that the past, to her, is like an unfinished canvas and the way she finishes the work of art is by telling the story in the way she remembers it – which may or may not be factual.
Yep. GaGa tells what some would call lies:
It’s cool that I’ve received three messages that pointed out that beginning of this video reminded them of me and my blog. There are worse people to be compared to.
Like…if it were legal to marry a music streaming service I totally would.
If you’re not on Spotify, a quick explanation: You can browse music (by artist, album, record label, genre or playlist) and stream the music to your computer or mobile device. There’s also a social element where you can browse the playlists of your Facebook friends.
My play lists are detailed (much like my iTunes library) and I’m excited to grow into more playlists. My favorite personal playlists so far are:
Bitch, Please
And I have this strange thing about cowbells…they just put me in a good mood. So I have a cowbell mix (all songs with cowbells):
If you’re on Spotify, add me as a friend (username: 12802306). I’ll share some tunes with you.
I can now say that I know what that teacher from Freedom Writers felt like.
Today I was in the grocery store and ran into a parent that has three children that go to the Boys & Girls Club that I used to work at. Our conversation went something like this,
“Hey Gabe…good to see you.”
“Mike! Man my kids miss you.”
“I miss the kids a lot too. How is everything?”
[EDIT OUT SMALL TALK]
“Hey good to see you, tell your kids I said ‘hello.’”
“Okay. You know every time Katy Perry’s California Gurls comes on the radio in the car they all sing it and talk about how much they miss you.”
“California Gurls? Not sure if I even know that song.”
“Really? They do this dance that they said you did every time it came on.”
I’ve read some hate on the Twitter & Facebook about Glee and the loss of plot in the past ten(ish) episodes. And although this might not sound like I’m defending it, hear me out…The writing on Glee has never been good. And frankly, looking for a solid story and a captivating plot in an episode of Glee is like trying to find a tube of lipstick in a female softball player’s purse. You’re the fool if you’re looking.
Take one step back, idiots. It’s a show where the actors break out into song and dance. Since episode two, FOX has provided sneak peaks of the SONGS, not the stories. There are multiple storylines about homosexuals.
This show is about musical theatre (with the gay “e” at the end) not about the play upon its stage.
Maybe Season One fooled you into thinking that this show would somehow fill the I-Got-Picked-On-As-A-Teen-And-I’ve-Got-The-Issues-To-Prove-It-sized hole in your high school experience, but clearly the road to regionals didn’t satisfy you. Why don’t you just leave me my Glee…and go shit talk about the lack of story in Grey’s Anatomy or some other serious show that has actually promised you good writing and failed to deliver.
Okay…do you have a blog? If so, why don’t you do this.
Open up your iTunes library and click on the “TOP 25 MOST PLAYED” smart playlist. Take a screen-capture. Then blog it. Don’t forget to throw a link up in my comments. I’m super-curious.
I’m like a song-parody writing genius. Well, maybe I’m not good at actually writing the song parodies…but I’m really good at coming up with ideas for song parodies.
Here’s a list of song parodies I’ve come up with. If you want to write any of these songs, go for it…just send me a small check for a “creative consulting fee.”
* [sung to the tune of Bonnie Rait's Let's Give Them Something To Talk About] Let’s Give Them Something To Blog About
* [sung to the tune of Sheryl Crow's The First Cut Is The Deepest] The Last Hour’s the Longest – a song about how the last hour of work is dreeeaaaadful!
* [sung to the tune of Lady GaGa's Pokerface] Butterface
* [sung to the tune of Britney Spears' Hold it Against Me] Buy my Ten-Speed
* [sung to the tune of Rihanna featuring Drake's What's My Name] We Look The Same – Oh Na Na! We Look The Same (a song about identical twins)
* [sung to the tune of Pink's Raise Your Glass] Wipe Your Ass
* [sung to the tune of Bruno Mars' Just The Way You Are] Just The Way You Were
* [sung to the tune of Willow Smith's I Whip My Hair Back And Forth] I Dip My Chip Back and Forth – a song about someone who double-dips at parties.
Again…you’re welcome to steal any of these ideas. I don’t want any credit. Just cash.
This week’s podcast has my very first interview. I called this episode A Drink With Jam And Bread.
