This is the one about adding paint.

My friend Jenna runs a really cool DIY blog called Add Some Paint.  Jenna and her sisters post little DIY projects that are kind of inspiring.  The most recent project is a kick butt refurbished desk that is refinished on top with dry-erase paint.  RAD!

And if the cool projects and recipes weren’t enough of a reason to check it out, they are giving away a gift card and a set of these cool magnets that Ali posted a tutorial on last month.

Why are you not on their blog already?!?

AddSomePaint.com

This is the one that is hot.

So you know that saying, “hotter than a witch’s tit”?

I don’t know if this is one of those things that conservative people say because they don’t want to say “bitch” and they are actually trying to say “hotter than a bitch’s tit” in their prudish way.  Or is there something exceptionally warm about the breast of witches?

This is the kind of thing I lose sleep over.

This is the one that is uneducated about chinchillas.

I work in web marketing, and a large part of my day-to-day includes submitting my client’s website information to different online directories.  Many of these directories include a feature where customers can review their experiences with businesses.

How Did We Do? is a series of real customer feedback (the majority of the time these reviews are not for my clients’ businesses).  I have not fabricated any of these reviews…I merely took a screenshot and am sharing.

Today’s How Did We Do? is an InsiderPages review for a pet store in Charlotte North Carolina:

It’s sad really.  The American education system has failed this country.  I truly believe that everyone should be educated about chinchillas…at least for conversational purposes.

You can see all the How Did We Do? posts here.

This is the one with my 12.

On the 12th day of each month bloggers from all over the world take 12 photos of their day.  The 12 of 12 project was Chad’s idea, and you can go to his website to see the links of all the people who participated this month.

And you can see all of my 12 of 12s by going to my 12 of 12 page.

Here are my photos from June 12, 2011.

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: my Kellogg bed t-shirt and TWO: my arm tattoo.

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: the baby Buddha next to my bed. TWO: the layer of dust on my bed-side table.

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: My really high glucose level (I blame it on last night’s a-a-a-alcohol). TWO: despite earlier claims, I’m still using my One Touch Ultra 2.

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: Sound board in the background is because we’re recording an episode of Game Night Guys. TWO: We played NERTS.

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: My cards have 80s trivia on them. TWO: Brian was much better at this game than I was.

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: My pretty mojito.  TWO: The pretty Hyatt lobby bar in the background.

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: My insulin that I’m about to inject before dinner.  TWO: Brian’s geeky pose that he did just after saying I always post insulin pictures in my 12 of 12.

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: The talented cast of the Catch Me If You Can performing on the Tony Awards.  TWO: Leo Butz dancing before he won his Tony.

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: My margarita.  TWO: My Facebook.

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: Kid art that is behind my desk.  TWO: the top left is a picture a kid drew of me forgetting the gas cap from our Boys & Girls Club bus at the gas station.

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: A fresh syringe (I re-use syringes for one week…or until they hurt).  TWO: Doesn’t my camera take kick butt macro photos?

There are two things to look at in this photo. ONE: Why am I making that stupid face?  TWO: My new hair doooooo.

This is the one that is pretty fly.

The (unsecured) wifi at my apartment was so incredibly slooooooooooooooooow.  I’m pretty sure one of our neighbors was stealing. So I went in and encrypted that mutha.

While I was at it, I also re-named our router:

This is the one about refusing to finish.

Despite the graphic topic of this post, I’m going to attempt to write it in the most PG-13 way possible.

I was 18 when I had my first serious relationship with a man…well, boy.  We were both boys.  Additionally, we were both young and incredibly naïve.

I’m friends with First Boyfriend (who will now be called 1stbf) on Facebook.  And last week 1stbf wrote on his Facebook wall that he thought that he felt a cold coming on.  And I suddenly had a flashback of the two of us on a boat in a harbor in Long Beach making out (that’s a long story).  Things were headed in one direction…get me?  And he suddenly stopped me.  “I can’t finish,” he told me (maybe using another word for “finish” but remember I’m trying to be PG-13).  “I think I’m about to get a cold…and if I finish, it will weaken my immune system.”

That’s when I crossed my arms and gave him my best Daria look (see image to the left).  “Are you being serious right now?”

He told me that when he feels illness coming on he never finishes.  Even when he’s alone.

WTF, right?

I was 18…so I had this strange definition of “sex” that required both parties to finish.  If only one person finished, it wasn’t “sex” but rather some kinky thing that only happened at swingers parties.

This “I don’t finish when I feel illness coming on” thing made for a particularly difficult flu season.  And I promptly broke up with him before the fall cold season started.

Last week when I read his “starting to feel sick” Facebook status, I messaged him.  Here’s what I had to say:

What’s up 1stbf?!  Your status reminded me of this random memory:  when we were dating (over 10 years ago!!!!!) you refused to finish if you felt like you were getting sick. Hahahahhaha….do you remember that? You said it would bring the sickness on quicker. Do you still feel that way?

He responded shortly after:

HAHAHA WHAT??? That’s hilarious! I don’t even remember that nor do I remember ever feeling that way! Gosh, we were so young. I can’t believe it’s been about 12 years now!!! Speaking of random memories, do you remember when we used to make out on that boat in Long Beach?

I’m glad that he acknowledged his naiveté and he has gotten over this ridiculous belief; I’m sure his current boyfriend is glad too.

Maybe later I’ll tell you the story about the boat.  Haha.

This is the one about movies.

My goal for 2011 is to watch all 100 movies from the American Film Institutes’s list of 100 greatest movies of all time [see the list here].  Number 91 on the list is Sophie’s Choice and number 90 is Swing Time.  I have 89 movies to go.

I watched these two movies, but don’t want to bore you with my opinions. The short version is this: I loved Swing Time and didn’t love Sophie’s Choice.

Chances are you’re going to see more of these non-reviews in the future. It’s too tough to write long movie reviews and watch all the movies.  Frankly.

This is the one about ‘Goodfellas.’

My goal for 2011 is to watch all 100 movies from the American Film Institutes’s list of 100 greatest movies of all time [see the list here].  Number 92 on the list is GoodFellas.  I have 91 movies to go.

Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I’m free the next morning.

This was surely one of the best mob movies I’ve ever seen. Granted I’ve only seen a handful.

Martin Scorsese is well-known for a lot of movies (three or four that are on this list of movies I’ll be watching this year), and I understand why GoodFellas is on the list of his well-knowns. This movie is really real…well it feels real.  It’s a bloody gory look at the mob, but they still sit down and eat dinner every night.

And there’s this surprisingly potent love story between Liotta and Bracco which brings this story even closer to home as she explains this new world that she’s suddenly part of.

Yes this is a mob movie, but it is also a movie about loyalty, trust and betrayal.  It’s movie about sex, drugs, violence and the last 20ish minutes is an amazing story about how life can just crumble around you.

Just a regular guy works his way into the mob.

An editor with a heavier hand…it’s like 20 minutes too long.

This is the one about The French Connection.

My goal for 2011 is to watch all 100 movies from the American Film Institutes’s list of 100 greatest movies of all time [see the list here].  Number 93 on the list is The French Connection.  I have 92 movies to go.

You wanna play “hide the salami” with his old lady?

Bleck.  This movie won five Oscars, and movie-lovers worship it.  I don’t really get it.

It’s based on a true story of two cops that stumble upon a France to America drug smuggling operation.

For a movie that has one of the most well-known train chase scenes and tons of gun fire and tire screeches, it was a really slow-moving film that put me to sleep twice (granted, I’m kind of known for falling asleep in movies regardless of the pacing of the script).

I totally think that Gene Hackman is an Oscar-worthy actor…but I don’t really think his work in The French Connection was meaty enough for an Oscar.

Total snooze.

I am less than impressed by the size of your gun.

A faster, more engaging story.

This is the one about Pulp Fiction.

My goal for 2011 is to watch all 100 movies from the American Film Institutes’s list of 100 greatest movies of all time [see the list here].  Number 94 on the list is Pulp Fiction.  I have 93 movies to go.

Oh I’m sorry. Did I break your concentration?

One of the first scenes in this movie is of two hit-men talking about what people call a ‘Big Mac’ in other countries.  This dialogue isn’t just entertaining…but it kind of is disarming because it makes these thugs come off as normal.  And a few minutes later the hit-men taunt their victims with questions about the ‘Royal With Cheese.’

This movie is full of random crap like the Big Mac conversation.  Independently, you might assume that these scenes are arbitrary and strange…but when pieced together this movies feels not only super coherent and funny but also incredibly orchestrated.

I think it’s kind of funny (ironic even) that people have spent so much time debating what is in the suitcase.  It’s in the title, fools….this is just pulp fiction.  We shouldn’t look for deep meaning and explanation.  I get the impression that this is just an exercise in style and technique (albeit a brilliant and layered one).

This movie is so much better when you realize it’s just a black comedy dressed up like a crime drama.

Random stories pieced together in a crime drama that’s funny.

Someone sexy.  Seriously, this cast doesn’t have a single hottie.