Posted February 20th, 2011 by Mike Lawson
My goal for 2011 is to watch all 100 movies from the American Film Institutes’s list of 100 greatest movies of all time [see the list here]. Number 95 on the list is The Last Picture Show. I have 94 movies to go.
Chicken fry me a steak and try to use meat this time!
Yes. Yes. Yes. Another movie that affirms why I’m doing this 100-movies-in-a-year bullshit. This movie is funny, raunchy, and deep. I was hit hard with nostalgia with the accurate portrayal of that summer-after-senior-year state of mind.
This movie takes place in the dead town of Anarene Texas…and is based on a Larry McMurtry novel. Director Robert Surtee totally captures the desolated (and dare I say “enchanting”) aura of a dusty Texas town in the early ’50s.
Seriously, the cast list alone spells success: Cybill Sheperd, Cloris Leachman, Randy Quaid, Jeff Bridges, Ellen Burstyn. Back in 1971 most of these people were unknown, and sadly the best actor in this movie, Timothy Bottoms who played Sonny, remained pretty much unknown.
This script takes a cast of horny teens and fucked-up adults and creates a lurid entanglement of sexual liaisons, dirty secrets and naked pool parties that had the potential to become a tawdry, sleazy soap opera…but in The Last Picture Show they are crafted together with some complex characters that create a powerful story that is both enigmatic and moving.
High School is done, now it is time to start.
more fans. Why isn’t this movie referenced more often?!
Posted February 10th, 2011 by Mike Lawson
My goal for 2011 is to watch all 100 movies from the American Film Institutes’s list of 100 greatest movies of all time [see the list here]. Number 96 on the list is Do The Right Thing. I have 95 movies to go.
Trust you? The last time I trusted you, Mookie, I ended up with a son.
This movie is exactly why I’ve decided to watch all 100 movies. This is a total gem.
This movie is about 15 different people on one of the longest, hottest, most memorable and possibly the most tragic day of their lives.
It starts with a totally 1989 dance sequence – Rosie Perez busting a move to Public Enemy’s Fight The Power. And ends with a totally calculated slap to the face. Wake up America! This shit is real.
You can do nothing. You can do something. Or you can do the right thing.
Both sides have good intentions, and Mookie’s stuck between them.
Nothing.
Posted February 8th, 2011 by Mike Lawson
Do you know what Craigslist Missed Connections is? If not, here’s a snarky explanation that makes you feel stupid for not knowing what it is:
Oh my god! You really don’t know what Missed Connections is? Did you just get the Internet or something? Don’t answer that. Anyway, Missed Connections is this page on Craigslist where people post stories about when they came across someone who they wanted to talk to but didn’t. Just about everyone (well, except you) reads this page and looks for people who are looking for them. Like, “Hey, I saw you in the grocery store buying melon and I totally thought you were hot.” And then the hot melon buyer could respond and connect with someone they were too afraid of connecting with in real life. Get it now??
So I received a message from a friend telling me that there was a Craigslist Missed Connection posting that was probably about me [link]. It says this:
Barista at Starbucks – m4m
You’re really cute. You give me my drink almost every day. You’re nice and I get the feeling that you want to chat some more. I drive a white car. Your name is Mike.
If you know me, email me and tell me what my drink is.
Okay. I’m quite positive that this ad is about me. I’m positive because the ad also has the location of the sBux I work at (I censored it for this blog post) and I’m the only Mike that works at our store.
So what’s a desperately-seeking-barista to do??
Ignore this blog URL for a second because this is the Buddha-Spaking-Truth: I see about 50 regular customers on a daily basis. And of those 50 about half(ish) are men. And then this morning I started suspiciously eyeing every male driving a white car that comes in regularly and I’ve narrowed the possibilities down to about 5 customers. Oh god, am I over-thinking this?
I really am not interested in friendship or more with about half of the five (forget for a second that 5 is an odd number). My options then are rather limited. I could:
- Respond to the ad. And possible start a conversation with a creep.
- Respond to the ad. And possible start a conversation with someone I’d genuinely enjoy creating a friendship with.
- Not respond to the ad. And continue to live creepy-customer free.
- Not respond to the ad. And lose out on a cool new friendship.
What would you do???
Posted February 6th, 2011 by Mike Lawson
My goal for 2011 is to watch all 100 movies from the American Film Institutes’s list of 100 greatest movies of all time [see the list here]. Number 97 on the list is Blade Runner. I have 96 movies to go.
I have had people walk out on me before, but not… when I was being so charming.
Okay, I’m sure the visuals and set design were super impressive back in the 70s. But really, this movie really lacked something. This boring storyline – in which Harrison Ford plays a futuristic bounty hunter as he attempts to track down these nutso runaway humanoid robots – is incredibly reliant on the “stunning” visuals. And it was close to impossible to care about any of the underdeveloped characters once you’ve gotten past the film’s looks.
The synthesizer-heavy score (by Vangelis…who is responsible for the 2000 Olympic Games Closing Ceremonies music) only makes this movie harder to watch. That this movie is now considered a landmark achievement within the science fiction genre is straight-up baffling to me. The end of this movie really cements the film’s status as hopelessly overrated.
Man has made his match, and now it’s his problem.
A few solid characters or maybe a better-thought-out plot.
Posted January 25th, 2011 by Mike Lawson
I’m like a song-parody writing genius. Well, maybe I’m not good at actually writing the song parodies…but I’m really good at coming up with ideas for song parodies.
Here’s a list of song parodies I’ve come up with. If you want to write any of these songs, go for it…just send me a small check for a “creative consulting fee.”
* [sung to the tune of Bonnie Rait's Let's Give Them Something To Talk About] Let’s Give Them Something To Blog About
* [sung to the tune of Sheryl Crow's The First Cut Is The Deepest] The Last Hour’s the Longest – a song about how the last hour of work is dreeeaaaadful!
* [sung to the tune of Lady GaGa's Pokerface] Butterface
* [sung to the tune of Britney Spears' Hold it Against Me] Buy my Ten-Speed
* [sung to the tune of Rihanna featuring Drake's What's My Name] We Look The Same – Oh Na Na! We Look The Same (a song about identical twins)
* [sung to the tune of Pink's Raise Your Glass] Wipe Your Ass
* [sung to the tune of Bruno Mars' Just The Way You Are] Just The Way You Were
* [ sung to the tune of Willow Smith's I Whip My Hair Back And Forth] I Dip My Chip Back and Forth – a song about someone who double-dips at parties.
Again…you’re welcome to steal any of these ideas. I don’t want any credit. Just cash.
Posted January 23rd, 2011 by Mike Lawson
My goal for 2011 is to watch all 100 movies from the American Film Institutes’s list of 100 greatest movies of all time [see the list here]. Number 98 on the list is Yankee Doodle Dandy. I have 97 movies to go.
“Ham makes me self-conscious.”
I went into this movie knowing that this was a biographical film by George M. Cohan (the same genus that wrote “Give My Regards to Broadway” and “Grand Ol’ Flag”). I expected it to be a life-altering musical that would change me in much the same way West Side Story or Singin’ In The Rain changed me.
But I was disappointed.
I really think that the “greatness” of this film lies in Cagney’s performance and I’m a bit surprised that it made it onto the AFI list. I felt like this “classic” was simply an hour and a half tribute to the music of Cohan. This is the guy that created all the patriotic songs we all had to memorize in elementary school. Whether you know it or not, you know Cohan’s music.
I think the timing of this movie might have a lot to do with it’s success…shooting started just a few days before Pearl Harbor and the US being pulled into WWII. The release date for this patriotic piece was right in the middle of a patriotic fervor in the country and the film delivers an over-the-top feel-good message that we’ve come to expect from musicals of this era.
It’s like a Cohan concert with a lot of dancing.
a fictional story.
Posted January 16th, 2011 by Mike Lawson
My go
al for 2011 is to watch all 100 movies from the American Film Institutes’s list of 100 greatest movies of all time [see the list here]. Number 99 on the list is Toy Story. I have 98 movies to go.
YOU ARE A TOY!
Okay, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that this is one of the best movies of all time. And I’m not exaggerating either.
The title is the most appropriate and simple title for this movie. Toy Story. I could easily talk about the Pixar animation. I could say how dazzling the new technology was then. I could even talk about the music. But what really makes this movie great is the story.
This story is about more than a few toys that are jealous of a new Buzz Lightyear doll. This movie is about nostalgia and the loss of childhood.
This movie represents the rebirth of the animated film. And reminded filmmakers that you can tell a solid story in a kid’s movie.
Life changes fast. It’s better to embrace rather than resist.
No sequels.
Posted January 8th, 2011 by Mike Lawson
So this is the first in my journey of 100 movies in 2011. I don’t plan on writing extensive reviews of the movies here…but I will be posting little synopsisisisieisis (what the hell is the plural of “synopsis”???) and mini reviews like the ones below.
I have also posted this list of all the AFI top 100 American Movies and I’ll be updating my progress there.
And now onto Ben Hur. For starters, how could I hate a movie that starts with a fifteen minute overture and has a musical intermission? Seriously…it was like I was at the theatre (notice I said “theatre” not “theater” because I’m cultured).
Nothing about this film was surprising (maybe I’ve seen it before, actually), and it was everything you’d expect in a sandals & swords biblical epic film – especially the super emotional ending.
I found myself uncharacteristically moved by the music. Not just the overture and intermission…but all of the music was really well placed and poignant. I could complain that this movie was too long – just about three hours – but do you expect anything less from what is called a historical epic movie?
His life is like Jesus’ but with a chariot race.
An hour cut out of it.
Posted December 13th, 2010 by Mike Lawson
Toward the end of every year I start making lists. Sometimes they are resolutions for the new year and sometimes they are eight things I hate about Xmas.
Call me Mr. Scrooge…or better yet, call me Scrooge McDuck. I don’t care. December brings with it the most annoying of holidays and here are eight reasons why:
1. Where’s My Sugar-Free Options? When I’m craving chocolate, I can find some easily accessible sugar-free option. When I’m craving soda, I run out and get a sugar-free Diet Coke. But when I’m craving some Egg Nog or Candy Canes, you can’t run out to Target and find a sugar-free option. I know that they exist, they just aren’t easy to find.
2. Where’s My Non-Christian Government? I thought that we were supposed to separate this stuff. Jesus and Government. But I guess Christians make up 120% of our country, and with those numbers, we’ll do what they want. And thinking about it, back when Jesus wrote the constitution he wanted to make sure all of us celebrated Christmas.
3. Where’s My Me-Time? In the other 11 months of the year I can ignore your stupid parties and fly under the radar. But in December I’m a Scrooge that is called a “party pooper” that can’t get into the “Christmas Spirit.” I ignored your fucking birthday and you let me get away with it…why can’t I ignore your stupid gift exchange party?
4. Where’s My Healthy Role Models? Santa is fat, and only works one night out of the year. I’ve seen better role models on Maury Povich.
5. Where’s My $15? I just spent $15 on a good gift for this dumb gift-exchange and I got something you bought at Big Lots. Seriously?
6. Where’s My Real Santa? We have kids believing that some fat guy in a red suit comes to deliver stuff, but how cool would it be if it were real? Something for nothing…the way Christmas was when we were kids. Now we’ve got to think, “Shit, is he going to get me a gift? If so, I have to get something for him.” Annoying.
7. Where’s The Little Drummer’s Mom? Shut your kid up on his stupid drum.
8. Where’s Your Concern During The Non-Holidays? I work for a non-profit and right around the holidays I see a bunch of people who suddenly care about our clients. And it’s nice to get some help during these times, don’t get me wrong. But I kind of feel jaded and bitter because I see people struggling year-round. Sure, it’s nice that you want to buy my kid’s mp3 players…but on what computer are they going to install the music?
Posted December 5th, 2010 by Mike Lawson
Toward the end of every year I blog a few lists. The first I’ll be posting this year is 21 lessons I’ve learned in 2010:
1. If you write to a murderer in prison, don’t be surprised when she writes back. [link]
2. I got it from my mama. [link]
3. If your boyfriend considers all of his exes to be enemies, you’ll soon be on that list too.
4. Be careful what you wish for [link] because you just might get it [link]
5. When I find him, Mr. Right will be able to deal with my diabeetus [link]
6. If you can’t blog about it, why do it? [link]
7. Working two jobs isn’t that much harder than working one.
8. I can publish a successful podcast [link]
9. 80% of success is just showing up [link]
10. I don’t like when people use the word “faggot” unless they are one. Oh. My. God. Becky…look at his double standard.
11. If I go off-script I will definitely fuck something up [link]
12. Love shouldn’t hurt.
13. I can accomplish goals [link]
14. I can be the mayor of ANYTHING [link]
15. Want internet traffic? Just add a sexual innuendo [link]
16. The easiest way to avoid a broken heart is to act like you haven’t a heart at all.
17. Say, “You look nice today” to someone who is grumpy and they’ll be nicer to you.
18. If you don’t want to be bothered, just walk fast like you have somewhere to go.
19. Every relationship fails…until one doesn’t [link]
20. Some days my job is awesome, and some days it is plain shitty. [link]
21. I was once lost, but now I’m found. I was blind…but now I see.
