Fireworks are stupid. Don’t misunderstand me…I understand the patriotic symbolism and the tradition and all of that. I just think that they are stupid.

I particularly hate the kind of fireworks that civilians buy and ignite in their own drunken celebrations on the street in front of their homes.

When I was living in Orange County I was living in one of the three cities where fireworks were still legal. And since I lived on the Garden Grove/Westminster city border I had to endure a lot people parking at my apartment complex and in the surrounding streets and igniting their explosives right outside my windows.

I was always afraid of something catching fire on my roof.

One year I was hanging at a friend’s house in Garden Grove and we went outside to ignite a firework or two, and when we were standing in the street a smoking bottle rocket landed less than two feet away from me. That same year my friend’s neighbors left a pile of smoldering firework waste in the gutter and we watched it ignite in flames. My friend had to run over and stomp it out–luckily he had on sneakers.

If I were still living in California, I’d be doing what I could to help make fireworks illegal. But here in Arizona they are illegal, so I’ve got nothing to make a stink about.

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