Jul 15 2008
This is the one that is ghey.
This past weekend I spent time with a friend of my boyfriend’s who loved to use the adjective “gay” in a pejorative sense. As in, “I hated that movie, it was gay.” Or “He was annoying me, so I told him to stop being so gay.”
Whenever she used the term, she would grimace and look to me and my boyfriend. After a few slip-ups–and a few drinks–she started qualifying the statement. “Gay with an ‘H,’” she would say.
The word “ghey” is actually in Wiktionary.
I’m generally an open-minded guy, and I wouldn’t say that I get offended too easily, but when people use the word “gay” synonymously with the word “lame,” I take offense. I am gay…are you saying that I, too, am lame?
I’m offended that it’s become commonplace to use the word “gay” pejoratively. I’m offended that good people–people that would never even think of throwing out a racial or religious slur–feel completely comfortable throwing out a homophobic one.
Am I being too touchy?
@cheapblueguitar you leaving?? Or just singing?
No, you’re not being too touchy.IMO, if you can substitute the word “Black” or “Mexican” & people from that group would be offended, then it’s offensive.
To answer your rhetorical, you are indeed both gay and lame. And your use of the term “lame” - have you ever thought using it in the figurative sense might offend those who are literally lame? Hmmm…. Pointing it out might help her realize how much she’s saying it and try to break the bad habit. But it’s still offensive.
especially sad since gay used to be synonymous with happy and bright and colorful and excited…and that’s not lame at all. Unless you think happiness and bright lively colors are lame. Then you’re lame. sigh. people.
I used the word lame until a person with a limp told me it bothered her. Now I try to say exactly what I mean- the person was being foolish, rash, speaking without knowledge of the topic, repeating platitutes, whatever.
I’ve quarelled with this one too and I’ll probably forever be on the fence about it. There is the distinction of definitions, and the simple fact that it’s just a word which has no more power then you lend it. But I can’t say I don’t feel a little twinge inside everytime I hear it used that way.
In a way, Publius is right. Even the use of the word “lame” can be seen as offensive. However, there are less reactions to that than there are to the use of the word “gay” as a synonym for “stupid” or “lame.”No, you’re not being too touch. I, too, hate it when people use that term so nonchalantly and I’ve yelled at friends so much about it that they know better to use the word in that context in front of me (yes, they do that even though I’m 95% straight).We’re not all perfect; hell, I’ve been saying “retarded” for a long time, but as I mentioned earlier, it depends on who you’ll offend. It’s much easier to offend people who support or who are gay than there are who support or who are “lame” or “retarded.” But as with what happened to Jonah, if someone asks you to stop, then it would be respectful and courteous to do.Next time, you can even make it a light joke. A friend of mine mentions this on his Xanga. It’s a good read: http://www.xanga.com/Rebel_In_Slacks/648895796/item.html
It’s a tough one though isn’t. Because if they’re hanging around gay people then don’t mean it to be offensive. I generally find it funny, although I can understand why it is offensive…My boyfriend and I just laugh about it.
I seem to remember us having an identical conversation about this a few months back. Perhaps we should get rid of the slang and go back to the roots? So, instead of gay, lame, dumb, stupid, retarded, tool…we should use homosexual, handicapped, mute, unintelligent, mentally impaired, man. Then, we can get into even more semantics and consider those who prefer to be handi-capable vs. handicapped and those who prefer intelligence-impaired vs. unintelligent.
“Dude Mike, you’re such a mentally impaired, mute, gluteus maximus” has a much better ring to it than “Dude Mike, you’re such a retarded dumbass”
Me personally, when I’m trying not to use extreme epithets, I take the “South Park Stance” and use <b>ANY</b> word, regardless of origin, because I can make <i>anything</i> sound bad with the right inflection.
But, ultimately, I prefer good, old-fashioned French (hey! another group to be affronted!) because a good string of F-bombs has never really offended anyone….