Last year I dated this Republican guy that works in the fashion industry. It was short-lived, and just kind of faded away.

I don’t know what bothered me more about him: the fact that he was a gay republican, or the fact that he thought that fur was “elegant.”

He was an attractive guy, and we had fun dates (one that included eating oysters and watching Flamenco dancing), but every time we started talking I couldn’t help but question his political ideology.

“My mom’s birthday was yesterday,” he would innocuously bring up in conversation.

“Did you know that in 1963 when the Equal Pay Act became law your mom earned 59 cents on average for every dollar earned by men doing the same work. And in 2005, thanks to Democrats, the average pay for women has increased to 77 cents to every dollar earned by their male counterparts?”

I know…totally awkward, right? It was just impossible for me to have any sort of normal conversation with this guy.

I remember once we were talking about our take-home income and he mentioned that Uncle Sam takes too much out of his check, and I responded with something like “Oh yeah, maybe we should just abolish social security and unemployment insurance. What could possibly go wrong when the weakest of our society are starving and poor? And while we’re at it why don’t we just eliminate labor laws. And let’s start issuing guns with every driver license.”

He just looked at me, not knowing how to respond.

Needless to say, we only went out about 4 or 5 times. And I was surprised a couple of weeks ago when he emailed to ask how I was doing. We’ve been chatting and I told him about my upcoming move to Phoenix. He said that he’d like to buy me coffee before I left, so tonight we hung out in Laguna Beach and had some coffee and sat on the beach talking for a couple of hours.

This date confirmed a couple of things for me:

1. I will never date a Republican again.
2. The beach isn’t that great.
3. I can be in the most foul mood, but a soy latte will make me feel happy again.
4. I won’t even date a fiscally conservative that is registered DTS.
5. I don’t have time to say goodbye and have coffee with all of the random guys that I’ve dated or the people that I’ve had nugatory relationships with over the past 10 years. I should have one big get-together.

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