When I worked as the director of hiring for a non-profit in So. California, I received a lot of resumes each day. Some people would waste money and put their resumes in those stupid presentation folders, and instead of tossing the folders I would use them to make fake reports and pass them around to my co-workers.

One of my favorite “reports” was called 101 Reasons To Love Mike Lawson and contained nothing more that 101 empty lines. I sent this report to a co-worker with orders to fill in a few of the spaces and to pass it on.

When the completed list finally made its way back to me, it was a great self-confidence booster.

Here’s the list (in bold); if explanations are necessary I’ve written them in italics.

1. He smells nice.
2. The way he gasps.
3. He’s quite humorous
   
4. He has good hair.
5. He’s a vegetarian
6. He trained me when I became a coordinator
7. He was the coolest boss ever
8. He stories are always entertaining
9. He always makes me laugh
10. He wears really cool glasses
11. His cream of broccoli soup is amazing
12. He does yoga
13. He is a democrat
14. When he sits he doesn’t fart
15. He worked for Family Literacy - A literacy program I worked with for 2 years
16. He is a good writer
17. He makes people write lists about him
18. He likes to drink liberally - I am not a lush. I started a social group that meets at a bar called Drinking Liberally in Orange County.
19. He went to the ice capades - they were free tickets
20. A bird pooped on his veggie sandwich
21. He says “hi” to me every time he sees me in the office
22. He likes to draw pictures
23. He is random
24. He is always at work
25. He is Mike Lawson.
26. He talked to me when I was a newbie
27. He is the most vain man alive!!
28. He sings random and absurd songs in the office
29. He likes to torment Alexis with ballons
30. He corrects everyone’s grammar
31. He is foxy
32. He hangs the daily horoscope in his office
33. He lets me sit in his office and talk when I’m bored
34. He eats cheeze-its and avocados together
35. He comes to talk to me when he is bored
36. He’s a cute dresser
37. He’s not cheap
38. He writes for an edgy alternative weekly
39. He was a costumed character
40. He is going to bring me as a guest to his gym
41. He takes random allergy medicine from strangers
42. He is very trusting (see above)
43. He rips off unsuspecting Knott’s Berry Farm customers
44. He’s an awesome secret santa
45. He likes Good & Plenty
46. He is funny and says, “Hello Chojolan” all the time
47. He is to the office as John McClane is to terrorists
48. He makes the most fabulous Veggie Philly Cheesesteaks
49. He likes to tell the same story over and over and over again (sometimes unknowingly and inaccurately)
50. He loves to talk to strangers
51. He has a nun fetish
52. He is a computer genius! His flyers never cease to amaze me.
53. He is a talented eavesdropper
54. He gets the biggest mistake out of grammar mistakes
55. He digs creepy movies
56. He does great impressions
57. He eats black licorice
58. He is manly enough to wear a pink shirt
59. He always gives me a hug.
60. He won the biggest loser - We had a weight-loss bet in the office that I won.
61. He still thinks he can beat me up, even though he never does
62. He doesn’t make me work hard
63. He tries to scare me, but ends up scaring Cherisse
64. He’s a freeloader
65. He thinks he knows all the high school mascots
66. He is unbelievably random
67. He tells you to “lighten up” after somebody has been stabbed - One of our employees was stabbed on the job (minor…just needed stitches) and her friends were being all moapy…so I said “lighten up…at least you weren’t stabbed.”
68. He tricks you with fake psychic websites
69. When he sees something weird he says, “oupp!”
70. He’s to me as Rambo is to Charlie
71. He benches 235 - not true
72. He leaves his car window down all the way
73. He stained his new Express shirt
74. He doesn’t tell people the rules to games so that he wins
75. He helps me with Photoshop
76. He never complains
77. He is willing to help whenever/wherever he can
78. He is always joful
79. He’s not here when i want to play the circle punch game
80. He’s grrrrrreat!
81. He loves to talk
82. Only wants to eat Taco Bell
83. He likes to say your full name
84. He’s special
85. He likes to sing
86. He only hires the best
87. He would make a great model
88. Wants to bring sexy back
89. He’s sexy
90. He likes to walk around
91. He dresses nice
92. He has nice glasses
93. He is great with Power Point
94. He’s amazing
95. He’s the only one I know to make a book with 101 reasons to love him
96. He comes to visit me in the back room
97. He has the best laugh
98. He loves that I am BFFs with Katie
99. He sold his car on his lunch break
100. He worked at a nursing home
101. He likes to eat lunch with me.
     

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