This is the one about bad words.
Posted August 10th, 2010 by Mike Lawson
Over a year ago, my supervisor at work used the word “fag” while making fun of one of his roommates. As you can imagine, I lost a bit of respect for the guy after that. And then a few months after that, on Twitter, the same supervisor called someone a “faggot.”
Annoying.
So I responded to him on Twitter and said that “using words like ‘fag’ and ‘faggot’ make you sound ignorant.”
That was pretty much the end of that.
I don’t work closely with the guy anymore, but we do still follow one another on Twitter and Facebook.
A couple of weeks ago I was reading an Oscar Wilde book and tweeted the following: Sharing my bed with this queer tonight: http://twitpic.com/26xowh
And my old supervisor put me on blast. In jest, he said that using words like “queer” made me sound ignorant. But then he tweeted to all of his followers: “if people of certain race/sexuality get offended when others use a derogatory slang 4 them then they shouldnt use it either #bearolemodel“
So there are a couple of things I have to say about this. Firstly, calling someone (presumably someone who is heterosexual) a fag or faggot in an attempt to make them feel bad about themselves is much different from calling a dead, eccentric, open, homosexual author “queer.” His argument that my name-calling is on the same page as his, doesn’t hold water.
But he does pose an interesting question. If gay people get offended when others use the words “fag” and “faggot,” should gay people refrain from using those words too?
What do you think?
My opinion is this: it’s all about context. When a gay friend talks about how he was in drama club in high school, it’s appropriate to say, “and your parents were shocked when they found out you’re a fag?”
When a straight friend says that they hope that the Steelers win the Super Bowl, it’s not appropriate to say, “You cock-sucking faggot. You’re an idiot.” A double standard? Perhaps, but that’s where I’m at.
3 Responses to “This is the one about bad words.”
August 10th, 2010 at 10:43 am
There are two schools of thought about using terms like “faggot”: one is that use of the term by people in the gay community are using the term for empowerment — akin to dwarfs using a term like “midget” or African-Americans using the “n-word”. In essence, the thought is that when people within the community that the derogatory term is used to describe use the term, it devalues its shock value when others use it. The other thought is that use of the condescending term is perpetuated by everyone when people from within the community start to use it and therefore the term(s) should never be used in any circumstances. I am inclined to agree with you in that context is everything, but the reality is that people within a particular minority group do not need permission to use a term, but I believe people from outside those communities should or they risk being considered politically incorrect or bigoted.
August 10th, 2010 at 4:34 pm
I am in total agreement with you on this one. It’s all about context. I personally don’t have a problem if a straight person uses the term correctly and not in a derogatory/demeaning way. Example: I love Reba. A friend tells me “You love that show? You are such a fag.” I have no issue with this. I know why they are saying it and what they mean by it.
To Scott’s point – I do not believe that by using the words within the community helps to devalue the shock when we hear others use it in hurtful ways. Any time I hear someone use it in a derogatory way, it gives me the shivers and makes me angry.
In recent months I’ve begun calling people out on it as soon as it happens. If you’re going to make me feel uncomfortable, I’m going to return the favor.
August 13th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Hmmm…. this is like the whole “N” word debate. African Americans can call each other it, but anyone else can’t.
Yep, context. It’s the HISTORY behind the word. I can call myself a dumb blonde but no one else can. LOL
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